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"no im sorry, but i will not date you, i am the embodiment of pure evil, ill only use sex to manipulate you, also im a notorious alcoholic, im known to associate with hooligans, punks, rebels, and other shady persons, and im sure your mother wont appreciate the disrespectfull ungentlmannly joints ive been known to congregate at" - Dave, 10/29/01
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Recent changes or additions:

07/04/03: Updated literature section with Ode To You and Tick-Tock.